REVIEW: Suddenly It's Magic

Title: Suddenly It's Magic

Director: Rory Quintos

Producer: Star Cinema

Distribution: Star Cinema

Date of premiere: October 31, 2012

[NOTE: This review has spoilers. Given the predictability of this film, however, I say it does not matter.]

After about some time sitting in the theater while watching this movie, I checked my watch to check time. When I saw that not even 30 minutes has passed, I knew I was in for a lot of hurt.

(A quick note: for me, the best movies should not make me feel that I should check the time. When I do, that means I'm getting impatient, and that the movie sucks.)

Star Cinema's Suddenly It's Magic is postured to be a light romcom. The reality is far from that though, since the movie is sluggish and illogical. I wonder how it even made it out of the gate.

The story's simple and done before: hot young actor from another country gets tired of his job and so he goes to the Philippines to have a little retreat from all the attention. There he meets a young woman who is recovering from a heartbreak. And even though their first meet-up is chaotic, the two fall in love. When all things look perfect, a few conflicts are introduced. But of course, they pass all these problems, and go back into each other's arms. End credits.

Cliched does not even start to describe it.

Note to directors: chaotic first meetups are so old, and so unlifelike. Please don't use it.

This movie's chaotic first meetup is a little supernatural: Mario Maurer's Marcus takes a bite of a cupcake that Erich Gonzales's Joey made. Marcus says the cupcake "tastes sad", thereby enraging Joey, who then makes a scene by eating a lot of cupcakes to near-choking. Marcus sorts of saves her by doing an amateur Heimlich maneuver on her, accidentally touching her boobs.

Did I say the leading man said he can taste emotions for cupcakes? Yes, he said the cupcakes "taste sad." Not making that shit up.

Erich Gonzales's character is also as faulty. Early in the film, she is implied to be suffering from a heartbreak because she got left at the altar. That narrative piece is not solidly established though, so her characterization feels shallow and bipolar--happy one second, and sad the next. 

Maybe it did not help that the first scenes showing Joey did not establish this well. Her first scene had her baking yummy and colorful cupcakes. 

The scene where she goes home to an empty large house could be set up to make the audience feel her grief, but it was not utilized well. The scene starts with a long shot where she enters a gate from the corner of the screen. The shot shows her dwarfed by a large house, but the house's exterior is too busy with ornaments to heighten the impact. 

One issue I have with this movie is the use of three languages: there's Thai, there's Tagalog/Filipino, and there's Ilocano. The use of a diverse set of tongues is not an issue in itself; the issue is that the Filipino characters (Joey plus her friends) speak to Marcus using their native tongues, even though he admitted that he does not fully understand them. I know for a fact that Filipinos are a hospitable lot, and that we try our hardest to speak in English whenever a foreigner is within hearing distance.

And about Joey's friends: they are played by a diverse set of actors--Dinky Doo, Ces Quesada, Cacai Bautista, and Joross Gamboa--yet they are indistinguishable from each other. It does not help that acting is subpar from this set, particularly with Joross Gamboa, who cannot quite get the quirks needed to act gay.

But my main gripe with this film is how predictable it is. I can see the movie's twists and its ending from miles away, so I had a hard time staying put. I was tapping my feet in impatience at one point, and I was even doing fun things with my sunglasses to fight boredom. 

[How to have fun with your sunglasses inside a movie theater: (1) bite the ear grips, (2) hold at an arm's length and check how the glass's concave-ness warps the actors' faces, (3) wear the eyepiece to check how the movie world has gone dark, (4) repeat.]

The movie raises a lot of plot points, and rushes to wrap all of them in the last minutes. Joey, for instance, has issues with an absentee father, who only appears once earlier in the movie. The last minutes show her reconcile with the father. This reconciliation is expected, but it could have been set up better if there are earlier scenes pointing to this. After all, Joey spent too much time in Thailand doing nothing but sulk.

The only positive aspect of this film is that it is a visual spectacle. There's a lot of refreshing scenery nicely captured to captivate viewers, from the beaches of Ilocos to the landmarks of Thailand.

So if you want to watch this, lower your expectations and just desire to see the sights. And don't forget your sunglasses.

RATING: 1 stars out of 5

SUMMARY: It's pretty, but shallow, predictable and sluggish.

REVIEW: A Secret Affair

Title: A Secret Affair

Director: Nuel Crisostomo Naval

Producer: Viva Films

Distribution: Viva Films

Date of premiere: October 24, 2012

[NOTE: This review has spoilers. I also spoil the ending. Be warned.]

Nuel Naval's A Secret Affair is an affair movie done right. It is definitely better than Ruel Bayani's wildly successful No Other Woman, which is not as flawless as how the box office thinks it is.

In A Secret Affair, Anne Curtis plays Rafi, a young woman who has been dating Anton, a chef, for only two months. While watching a concert, Anton takes Rafi onstage to propose marriage. She says yes, but only because the moment calls for it.

Unsurprisingly, Rafi gets cold feet the night before the wedding. She rushes to Anton's condo unit and breaks off the engagement. This devastates Anton, but Rafi still leaves to go on vacation.

When carefree brat Sam (Andi Eigenmann) learns of the failed relationship, she tries to move in to snare Anton, with whom she has had a one night stand months ago. The depressed Anton gives in, until Rafi comes back to his life. Sam, however, does not like this development, and so she plots to finally destroy Anton and Rafi's connection.

What differentiates A Secret Affair from No Other Woman is how they treat the illicit relationships. 

For me, No Other Woman's  greatest fault is that it celebrates the illicit affair by placing its sex scenes in romantic places, and setting them to erotic music. This complicates the story, as both the legal and illegal relationships are legitimized, thus establishing that there's nothing wrong with the adultery. The guy could have gone to any woman, conflict be damned.

The way Naval handles it in A Secret Affair is vastly different. While Anton's love scenes with Rafi are slow and sensual, his love scenes with Sam are quick and violent. At one point, Anton even pushes Sam onto a glass table. This stark contrast is important, as it gives more emotional weight to the characters' relationships with each other.

The story also has surprising depth. In No Other Woman, the lead male is only a knucklehead who starts a bad relationship just for no reason. In A Secret Affair, the affair is more complicated--Anton only goes with Sam when he's technically single, and so he is shown to be virtually loyal to his fiancee.

There's also no chance meetings, and no abrupt events that change the plot. Compare the two movies' endings: the catalyst for the resolution in No Other Woman is a car crash that comes from out of left field. In A Secret Affair, Sam drives to where her friends are just in time to witness Anton and Rafi finally break up.

I am actually pleasantly surprised that A Secret Affair chose to end with the most logical ending. No one ends up with each other, and they all go their separate ways.

Storytelling is not the only positive aspect of A Secret Affair. I liked how Naval composed every frame, and I saw many interesting shots. One of my favorites is the one where Anton and Sam meet for the first time. Sam sits in the background, while Anton pours a drink in the foreground. Anton places the glass in front of Sam's image, and he slowly fills it with alcohol.

The lead stars should also get accolades for their performances. Derek Ramsey looks smart and sensitive. Anne Curtis acts with her eyes, and her little gestures (fidgeting with her hands, little tics of the mouth) help a lot. Andi Eigenmann is naive and sexual at the same time, and so she nails the role so hard, no pun intended.

But my favorite scenes come from Jaclyn Jose, who plays Anne's mother. The movie's best moment comes towards the movie's end, when she finally confronts her husband's other woman.

I also liked the interchangeable women friends who need to be panned to quickly when they need to speak. They're hilarious.

Only a few flaws mar the film's perfect score: its social media segments feel unfit to the movie's tone, and several cameo actors could be done away with. Nina's cameo, for instance, is presented like she's the movie's star, and we're only watching her concert. (Nina sings the theme song.)

All in all, A Secret Affair is miles better than No Other Woman. Some of you may be double-thinking trooping to the theater for it because it does not have the "Star Cinema" tag, but who says only the Kapamilya film production outfit can make good movies?

Besides, will you let the middling This Guy's In Love With U Mare! to take the top box office spot for 2012? Better movies need to take that cake, right?

RATING: 4.9 stars out of 5

SUMMARY: See this movie.

REVIEW: Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles

Title: Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles

Director: Erik Matti

Producer: Reality Entertainment, Agosto Dos Pictures, GMA Films and Post Manila

Distribution: Reality Entertainment, Agosto Dos Pictures, and GMA Films

Date of premiere: October 17, 2012

[NOTE: This review has spoilers.]

I wanted to like Erik Matti's Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles, but several flaws keep me back from thinking it is excellent.

Sure, the graphics are very remarkable. Good graphics, however, do not automatically mean "great movie." Just see the Transformers or the Panday movies to see what I mean.

Tiktik is promising when it starts. Arrogant city boy Makoy (Dingdong Dantes) arrives in a sleepy town to woo back his pregnant girlfriend Sonia (Lovi Poe) from her strict mother Fely (Janice de Belen), who insists that he leave her daughter alone.

Fortunately, Nestor (Jory Marquez), Sonia's father, sides with Makoy. Encouraged, Makoy helps Nestor and his cousin Bart (Ramon Bautista) prepare a feast for Sonia's upcoming birthday. With Bart's suggestion, Makoy and Nestor go to a strange community to buy a pig for roasting. 

But Makoy's cockiness and lowballing enrages several of the pig-sellers, who turn into aswangs at night. That night, the strange monsters attack Sonia's house, and Makoy steps up to protect her and their baby.

Lush visuals compliment the story. The scenes have a rundown weathered look, which highlights the story and setting even more.

Have we seen this kind of eye-popping visuals before in Philippine cinema? Probably not. This year's most good looking movie (until Tiktik came along, that is), doesn't even come close. Hint: the "good-looking movie" is also about an aswang.

But again, good visuals do not automatically mean "great movie." While Tiktik is wonderful to look at, it still needs help with its storytelling.

Several issues pervade the movie: weak characters and several scenes that go against logic.

The weakest character of all is Ramon Bautista's Bart. Throughout the film, it is hinted that his dead father is part of the aswang clan. We never get the full gist of this, however, and we are left to wonder how that should fit into the overall arc.

Bart's character is also shown to be angry and jealous that Makoy has nabbed Sonia, whom he also likes. But there's no payback to this piece of narrative, and it is left unfulfilled until he dies.

There are also scenes that are illogical. The men leave the pregnant Sonia on the second floor all the time, even after two aswangs got into the second floor earlier in the story. They escape by climbing down the back terrace, without any aswang noticing. 

What the film lacks in solid storytelling, it makes up with a few moments of wit, that are truly memorable. Some of my favorites: a child actor decides to shoot Boy Bawang bits at aswangs, Ringo (Mike Gayoso) saying "tiktik, tiktik" to insult the protagonists, and Makoy using a large wooden fork to make intestine spaghetti.

With that said, several actors should be given praise. Main cast members Dingdong Dantes, Lovi Poe, Janice de Belen and Joey Marquez create a believable ensemble.

But the best actors were the actors who played the aswangs, particularly LJ Reyes, Cris Pastor and Mike Gayoso. Roi Vinson, the head aswang, can be the creepiest local horror character of the year, except that he morphs into a laughable bat-like creature towards the end.

Should you see this? I say yes, but make sure not to have high expectations. 

RATING: 3.5 stars out of 5

SUMMARY: It's not a perfect movie, but it's enjoyable and the visuals are appealing to look at.

Movie Round-Up: Give Up Tomorrow, Madeo, I Saw the Devil, and much more

(Movie Round-up summarizes the indie/foreign movies I have seen over the past days.)

I saw Give Up Tomorrow (Michael Collins, 2011) on October 9 at its last full showing in SM Megamall, and there were more than 20 people  in the theater. That's a good thing, because the Filipino public should see this film about a young boy who was unjustly jailed for a crime he didn't commit, due to the public's lynch mob mentality and a corrupt justice system. The film is solid, except that I wish it could be braver. Why did the producers downplay the big fish allegedly behind Paco's arrest and incarceration? [4.5/5]

---

Madeo (Bong Joon-Ho, 2009) is beautiful and heartbreaking. It started as an inspiring movie about a mother and her love for her son, but then it developed into the horrors any parent could do to save their offspring. I liked how it started and ended with parallel scenes: the mother dances to forget what she had done. [5/5]

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I Saw The Devil  (Kim Jee-woon, 2010) is an interesting take on the revenge drama, but the cat-and-mouse theme gets repetitive fast. Story is a bit hard to believe, too. [3.5/5]

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OTHER FILMS

Yokai Daisenso (Takashi Miike, 2005) is fun but a little predictable. [4/5]

Cars (John Lasseter and Joe Ranft, 2006) is fun, relatable, and exciting. [4/5]

Jisatsu Sakuru (Shion Sono, 2001) doesn't make a lot of sense, but it gets you thinking. [4/5]

REVIEW: This Guy's In Love With U Mare!

Title: This Guy's In Love With U Mare!

Director: Wenn Deramas

Producer: Star Cinema and Viva Films

Distribution: Star Cinema and Viva Films

Date of premiere: October 10, 2012

Surprisingly, Wenn Deramas's new movie is tolerable. Unlike his previous films--Praybeyt Benjamin and Moron 5 and the Crying Lady--that are annoying and truly awful, This Guy's In Love With You Mare feels okay. Watching this won't make you lose brain cells.

This movie's story is pretty common: Lester (Vice Ganda) gets depressed after Mike (Luis Manzano), his boyfriend of three years, leaves him for Gemma (Toni Gonzaga). In hopes of getting his macho stud back, he pretends to be a guy to court Gemma, so she would break up with Mike.

What makes this movie okay is the abundance of smart jokes. There are many sight gags and hidden jokes in many scenes that are played with no hard effort. This is unlike the delivery of the jokes in Praybeyt and Moron 5, where jokes are stale but they go on and on.

A few of these smart gags are: someone rolling down the stairs behind the main characters in a bar scene, Vice Ganda's photo wall, and Buboy Garrovillo's new hair. I forgot the rest.

What makes this material soar is the presence of Vice Ganda, whose unique delivery of lines can make any dead joke damn hilarious. Still, you'd wish that he learns when he's already over-acting.

Also, Vice's best scenes happen in the first half, when he's on a revenge streak. When he calms down and the movie gets dramatic, the film gets boring.

The other lead characters, on the other hand, deliver shaky performances. Toni Gonzaga portrays her character to be smart, but then she fails to see Lester's true intent. Luis Manzano plays his character dumb at times, and smart at times, it gets confusing what is right. In fairness, this may not be the two actors' fault, but the director's.

Other actors in this movie, meanwhile, are forgettable. Only Tessie Tomas makes a mark, but only because she puts on a rough Visayan accent that's hardly believable. 

All in all, This Guy's In Love With U Mare! is just okay. See it for Vice Ganda, whose the star of this film, after all.

RATING: 2.5 stars out of 5

SUMMARY: Better than the truly awful Praybeyt Benjamin and Moron 5 and the Crying Lady. Is Wenn Deramas getting better? I doubt it, but it's fun to see him try.

REVIEW: Dyagwar: Waley o Havey?

Title: Dyagwar: Waley o Havey?

Director: Sid Pascua

Producer: OgieD Productions

Distribution: Viva Films

Date of premiere: October 3, 2012

The best thing about Dyagwar is that it does not get on your nerves. When other comedies try their hardest to get their audiences laughing, this factor should be appreciated.

What's not remarkable, however, is how it seems to not have any ambition. It's mostly just there. It's just like eating the bubbles on top of a fizzy drink--it's fun to eat, but you don't get full.

The story is a bit hundrum: two security guards (played by Eric Fructuoso and a magnetic Boom Labrusca) witness several characters' hijinks while working for an apartment compound.

These events are what you expect when you think about it in three seconds: a kept woman, a philandering husband, a sexy young woman who has an abusive suitor, several loud gay tenants, a prostitute, et cetera et cetera.

The events are also as common as possible: kept woman gets caught having an other man, philandering husband gets caught by his wife, sexy woman gets pushed too hard, gay tenants express and fulfill their desire (at least one did) to get it on with a hot guy, and prostitute gets redemption somewhat.

It was a little disappointing. With this set-up, the producers and directors could have pushed a little harder and got more unique stories. 

But then again, the treatment of the above stories are as straightforward as possible, so they feel familiar, and in turn avoiding going overboard. You've seen it before, so you can relate to it.

The shining moments in the film though came from lead stars Eric Fructuoso and Boom Labrusca. Eric is still formidable looks-wise years after laying low in showbiz, and Boom is an eye-candy. Both know how to act, but sometimes they overact. Not their fault, probably, but the director's.

There's a scene here where one of the security guards gets raped by a gay character. It's rape, and it's admirable how the movie never flinches to make it clear that it is, in fact, an abuse of power and that the guy is a victim. That's a brave thing to do in an industry where most of the players deny that this kind of abusive relationship (gay manager to hunk wards, apparel owner to his male models) exists.

RATING: 3 stars out of 5

SUMMARY: It's a bit funny, and not annoying. It's just the right kind.